SCOTEP*

The Stupidest Court On The Entire Planet

Photo by Richard Cohrs on Unsplash

I’m betting the actual bench at the Supreme Court is smarter than the asses that sit on it as a group. I’m fairly persuaded that the Conservative justices each have a negative IQ and that they wear cloaks because they forgot how to tie ties and shoelaces.

Of course, I’m referring to yesterday’s pro-death ruling that New York, state and city, could not limit the ownership and/or carrying of firearms¹

The historical precedents for banning guns in a municipality are pretty damning. In fact, it goes straight through the heart (like a bullet?) of the Old West imagery that many Americans believe was one of our greatest strength: settling disagreements with lead.

Even prior to the Old West, the infamous duel between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr had to be fought on the palisades of New Jersey because New York City had outlawed dueling².

I mean, you can’t get much more”originalist” and “historical tradition” than Burr and Hamilton!

There’s a certain irony that the Courts in the 18th and 19th Centuries were more cosmopolitan and progressive than the six fucking idiot redneck yayhoos sitting there now, that folks were discouraged from taking the law in their own hands and were encouraged to seek nonviolent settlement of disputes, especially since in the modern era, the law has become a far more effective tool than a gun in ending disputes.

But this is a time when cooler heads must prevail and so, being someone who is unfraid to face down a gun, allow me to propose a few solutions:

1. Immediately, the NY state legislature should pass a law that bans guns based on population density. The proximity of people in gatherings has been shown to be a factor in violence and so courts have allowed the banning of guns under these circumstances, where the public could conceivably be endangered by their presence.
   You know, like at the NRA convention.

2. New York State should also require than gun permits require two years of service in the National Guard or some equivalent public service institution should you be unfit for Guard duty. You want a gun? Earn the fucking right. And that goes for asshole who want to travel here. You want to bring your gun here? Show that you served, you can. No ticket, no shoot.

3. Joe Biden, hear this plea: Pack the fucking court, pack it now, and pack it big. Use the excuse that nine judges is insufficient oversight for a nation that has 350 million people living in its borders and that there need to be, say, thirteen judicial districts, or even fifteen.

I take some small comfort in the fact that this is one step closer to getting guns banned nationwide and the Second Amendment repealed, once Americans have had enough of the bullshit. I’m only sad it won’t happen in my lifetime.

But then…there’s this moronic decision to be pulled apart now, too…

1. Let me preface my remarks by saying I do not oppose gun ownership, not even in NYC. I believe, for instance, that police officers have a responsibility to their families that allows them to carry even while off-duty, and that weapons are a necessary evil in counties and areas where there isn’t a cop “just on the corner”. I’ll also further stipulate that I have never and will never own a gun (altho I have shot a few) because I’m not a fucking coward. Also, I have had guns pointed at me from both sides of the law and been under gunfire at least once that I can remember.

2. New Jersey had as well, but was lax in enforcement. The site the duel occurred was popular for bloodbaths.